Killing Tony
by donttouch
Summary: Random thoughts of the night. SLASH at the end of this story, and I kinnda like it :D R&R. Disclaimer: All hail DPB, eat BRAAAAINS! Power to the weirdo's


I'm not for or against the weapons. People with weapons doesn't scare me, until they turn to bad guys with guns. There's a difference. Some people might buy them to protect themselves, and then get hassled so much they suddenly go pooof and go on a killingspree. Those people scare me, because there is no reasoning with them, they've already decided to die, and you can't just walk in there. They kill randomly.

Then there's the people who plan it all out and stalks their prey. I imagine Gibbs would be one of those. Stalking his prey, memorizing every detail about the prey's week, planning exactly where to cut him off, petting the weasel when he thinks about how he's going to kill him. Me. I bet, the first one he'd kill was me. He'd get Abby to help him clean up all the forensic evidence, and Ducky would hide the body. Making it disappear without a trace. I have GOT to control that tounge of mine. Buuuut I'm not thinking anymore about that.

McGee would kill because he snapped mentally. Went coo coo bananas, probably shotgun, a lot of screaming, wild grinning, and shooting. He'd probably go after me first. Now THAT'S a scary thought, opening my door and there's a pale, trembling, grinning, red eyed, sweaty McGee with his tie loosened and pointing a shotgun at me. Not good. REALLY not good. He's sort of staring at me right now, a disgruntled expression on his face. Me again. I should learn how to control myself.

Then there's Ducky. Ducky would enlist Palmer who would be more than happy to help. They'd probably sedate me, and I'd wake up drugged with some sort of toxin that makes me unable to move. Ducky would talk me to death. And they'd talk about which bodypart they were cutting into, and removing, until I closed my eyes and died. Uhuh. Killers of oppurtunity.

Abby'd kill just because she can. She'd never poison me, or maybe she would, but she'd make all the evidences of a crime disappear. She'd tell me something about wanting to see what happens when you get killed, and then just whack me in the head with an axe or something. Making my legs twitch because she's seen it on LOTR. I should start watching comedies with her. Something with bunnies or horses. Pink ones.

Then there's Kate. That one's easy. She'd shoot me, nice and clean. She'd clean off her gun and go report herself after telling me that she couldn't do this anymore. She'd be a regretting killer. Poor Kaitie. I actually feel sorry for her, for wanting to kill me. Well, that only leaves me, doesn't it. Why would I kill?

I'd kill in passion. I'd use pills. Sleeping pills. I'd surprise my victim and sob harshly while I killed him. Me. I'd kill me. Not as bad as killing others, but still, I'd kill someone. It's a little strange to think about though, If you try to kill yourself, can you get convicted on attempted murder and bodily harm? "Hey you tried killing yourself, you're under arrest for the attempted murder on.. yourself.. along with bodily harm.. on .. yourself". It DOES sound a tad strange if you ask me.

"Tony?" it's Gibbs's voice, and I open my eyes, "hey babe, time to get up" Gibbs smirks and kisses me smack on the lips, "you got an appointment with Pitt in two hours and fiftythree minutes" Gibbs says and I can feel the bed shuffle slightly as he gets out of it and the padding of bare feet as he goes to the bathroom. A little worried now. He knows everything about me. Serial killer.

"Hey.. you gonna join me in the shower or not? There IS a reason I keep you in my house you know" Gibbs says and waggles his eyebrows. Ok. SO not worried right now.

"Coming" I pipe up and jump out of bed. Oh well, if he's going to kill me, then I might as well have fun before he does it.

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AN: Awwwwww... right? I needed to break the tension, and I needed some LOVE! And some funny buisiness :D

Disclaimer: All hail delicious brain of DPB.. must.. have...brain!


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